Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
"This is the Step that separates the men from the boys."
So declares a well-loved clergyman who happens to be one
of A.A.'s greatest friends. He goes on to explain that any
person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try repeatedly
Step Six on all his faults - without any
reservations whatever - has indeed come a long way spiritually,
and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is
sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his
own Creator.
Of course, the often disputed question of whether God
can - and will, under certain conditions - remove defects
of character will be answered with a prompt affirmative by
almost any A.A. member. To him, this proposition will be
no theory at all; it will be just about the largest fact in his
life. He will usually offer his proof in a statement like this:
"Sure, I was beaten, absolutely licked. My own
willpower just wouldn't work on alcohol. Change of scene,
the best efforts of family, friends, doctors, and clergymen
got no place with my alcoholism. I simply couldn't stop
drinking, and no human being could seem to do the job for
me. But when I became willing to clean house and then
asked a Higher Power, God as I understood Him, to give
me release, my obsession to drink vanished. It was lifted
right out of me."
In A.A. meetings all over the world, statements just like
this are heard daily. It is plain for everybody to see that each
sober A.A. member has been granted a release from this
very obstinate and potentially fatal obsession. So in a very
complete and literal way, all A.A.'s have "become entirely
ready" to have God remove the mania for alcohol from
their lives. And God has proceeded to do exactly that.
Having been granted a perfect release from alcoholism,
why then shouldn't we be able to achieve by the same
means a perfect release from every other difficulty or defect?
This is a riddle of our existence, the full answer to
which may be only in the mind of God. Nevertheless, at
least a part of the answer to it is apparent to us.
When men and women pour so much alcohol into
themselves that they destroy their lives, they commit a most
unnatural act. Defying their instinctive desire for selfpreservation,
they seem bent upon self-destruction. They
work against their own deepest instinct. As they are humbled
by the terrific beating administered by alcohol, the
grace of God can enter them and expel their obsession.
Here their powerful instinct to live can cooperate fully with
their Creator's desire to give them new life. For nature and
God alike abhor suicide.
But most of our other difficulties don't fall under such a
category at all. Every normal person wants, for example, to
eat, to reproduce, to be somebody in the society of his fellows.
And he wishes to be reasonably safe and secure as he
tries to attain these things. Indeed, God made him that way.
He did not design man to destroy himself by alcohol, but
He did give man instincts to help him to stay alive.
It is nowhere evident, at least in this life, that our Creator
expects us fully to eliminate our instinctual drives. So
far as we know, it is nowhere on the record that God has
completely removed from any human being all his natural
drives.
Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural
desires, it isn't strange that we often let these far exceed
their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we
willfully demand that they supply us with more satisfactions
or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the
point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that
God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our
character defects, or, if you wish, of our sins.
If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions.
But in no case does He render us white as snow and keep
us that way without our cooperation. That is something we
are supposed to be willing to work toward ourselves. He
asks only that we try as best we know how to make
progress in the building of character.
So Step Six - "Were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character" - is A.A.'s way of stating the
best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning
on this lifetime job. This does not mean that we expect
all our character defects to be lifted out of us as the drive to
drink was. A few of them may be, but with most of them
we shall have to be content with patient improvement. The
key words "entirely ready" underline the fact that we want
to aim at the very best we know or can learn.
How many of us have this degree of readiness? In an
absolute sense practically nobody has it. The best we can do, with all the honesty that we can summon, is to try to
have it. Even then the best of us will discover to our dismay
that there is always a sticking point, a point at which we
say, "No, I can't give this up yet." And we shall often tread
on even more dangerous ground when we cry, "This I will
never give up!" Such is the power of our instincts to overreach
themselves. No matter how far we have progressed,
desires will always be found which oppose the grace of
God.
Some who feel they have done well may dispute this,
so let's try to think it through a little further. Practically every
body wishes to be rid of his most glaring and
destructive handicaps. No one wants to be so proud that he
is scorned as a braggart, nor so greedy that he is labeled a
thief. No one wants to be angry enough to murder, lustful
enough to rape, gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No
one wants to be agonized by the chronic pain of envy or to
be paralyzed by sloth. Of course, most human beings don't
suffer these defects at these rock-bottom levels.
We who have escaped these extremes are apt to congratulate
ourselves. Yet can we? After all, hasn't it been selfinterest,
pure and simple, that has enabled most of us to escape?
Not much spiritual effort is involved in avoiding
excesses which will bring us punishment anyway. But
when we face up to the less violent aspects of these very
same defects, then where do we stand?
What we must recognize now is that we exult in some
of our defects. We really love them. Who, for example,
doesn't like to feel just a little superior to the next fellow, or
even quite a lot superior? Isn't it true that we like to let greed masquerade as ambition? To think of liking lust
seems impossible. But how many men and women speak
love with their lips, and believe what they say, so that they
can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds? And even
while staying within conventional bounds, many people
have to admit that their imaginary sex excursions are apt to
be all dressed up as dreams of romance.
Self-righteous anger also can be very enjoyable. In a
perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact
that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling
of superiority. Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite
form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions
for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we
criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.
When gluttony is less than ruinous, we have a milder
word for that, too; we call it "taking our comfort." We live
in a world riddled with envy. To a greater or less degree,
everybody is infected with it. From this defect we must
surely get a warped yet definite satisfaction. Else why
would we consume such great amounts of time wishing for
what we have not, rather than working for it, or angrily
looking for attributes we shall never have, instead of adjusting
to the fact, and accepting it? And how often we work
hard with no better motive than to be secure and slothful
later on - only we call that "retiring." Consider, too, our talents
for procrastination, which is really sloth in five
syllables. Nearly anyone could submit a good list of such
defects as these, and few of us would seriously think of giving
them up, at least until they cause us excessive misery.
Some people, of course, may conclude that they are in deed ready to have all such defects taken from them. But
even these people, if they construct a list of still milder defects,
will be obliged to admit that they prefer to hang on to
some of them. Therefore, it seems plain that few of us can
quickly or easily become ready to aim at spiritual and
moral perfection; we want to settle for only as much perfection
as will get us by in life, according, of course, to our
various and sundry ideas of what will get us by. So the difference
between "the boys and the men" is the difference
between striving for a self-determined objective and for the
perfect objective which is of God.
Many will at once ask, "How can we accept the entire
implication of Step Six? Why - that is perfection!" This
sounds like a hard question, but practically speaking, it isn't.
Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission
we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute
perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state perfect
ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring
sticks by which we estimate our progress. Seen in
this light, Step Six is still difficult, but not at all impossible.
The only urgent thing is that we make a beginning, and
keep trying.
If we would gain any real advantage in the use of this
Step on problems other than alcohol, we shall need to make
a brand new venture into open-mindedness. We shall need
to raise our eyes toward perfection, and be ready to walk in
that direction. It will seldom matter how haltingly we walk.
The only question will be "Are we ready?"
Looking again at those defects we are still unwilling to
give up, we ought to erase the hard-and-fast lines that we have drawn. Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still
to say, "This I cannot give up yet . . . ," but we should not
say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"
Let's dispose of what appears to be a hazardous open
end we have left. It is suggested that we ought to become
entirely willing to aim toward perfection. We note that
some delay, however, might be pardoned. That word, in the
mind of a rationalizing alcoholic, could certainly be given a
longterm meaning. He could say, "How very easy! Sure, I'll
head toward perfection, but I'm certainly not going to hurry
any. Maybe I can postpone dealing with some of my problems
indefinitely." Of course, this won't do. Such a bluffing
of oneself will have to go the way of many another pleasant
rationalization. At the very least, we shall have to come to
grips with some of our worst character defects and take action
toward their removal as quickly as we can.
The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close
against the grace of God. Delay is dangerous, and rebellion
may be fatal. This is the exact point at which we abandon
limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us.
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